So even before colonialism, and even where it is not still a major influence in spirituality and concepts of morality, most west Africans live under pressure of fulfilling family expectations. In smaller families with fewer children, there will end up being more pressure on each child to excel in school, marry well, and make babies despite destiny. This is why in the U.S. and Europe, there are children of African immigrants who are in their thirties and still have to ask their parents for permission to go on a date with someone.
On the one hand, it is a good thing that parents will stay involved with their children’s lives beyond childhood. On the other, parental influence can be traumatizing, damaging, and in the case of LGBTQIA+ youth, suffocating. For the most part though, especially if their Akosejaye reading said that they would be special in certain ways, parents will try to give guidance without stifling.
Because of the influence of colonial mentality and trauma from interest based patriarchy, especially in the U.S. where these things are highly politicized, one may want to be careful when choosing a group. Where you don’t want to assume that every group led by a cisgender man is bigoted, it’s fair not to assume that they are not. It is something you might want to ask about if you are considering participation in their community activities or endorsing them.
Good answers are either that they don’t care but are welcoming, or that someone in a prominent position in the group is out and proud.
Ile Baalat Teva, by the way, is openly welcoming and has nonbinary and Gay leadership. I suppose we could be called a Two-head (Gay/nonbinary) and a Hat-trick (Bi/variable/cygender since the knee replacements).
Update, August 14, 2022: Case in Point of How Little We Care What Someone’s Sitch Is
This article is about to be 7 months old, and it has some of the slowest traffic of almost any other article I have ever written here. There are no debates in the comments. It is doubtful there will be any. We just generally don’t care.
Maybe the speed will pick up later, but honestly people are more interested in whether your elekes are donned properly than whether you like to kiss men or women more. We just tend to mind our own business and respect people’s path.